I am Monica, I am 42 years old and had always battled with depression and anxiety until I received a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder at 38 years old and finally got on the path of recovery.
Prior to my diagnosis I had been seeing counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists on and off since I was 21 years old, but they only ever scratched the surface as to why I was having recurrent problems with relationships and why my moods were so dependent on what was occurring in my relationships.
I started to see an improvement in the way I felt about myself and my ability to have healthy relationships when I received my diagnosis and started seeing a new psychologist. The psychologist helped me to understand why I had such intense emotional responses. I discovered that a lot of the issues I was having were because of a fear of abandonment which meant I was seeing the world as though I was constantly in danger of being left out, excluded or abandoned.
With my psychologist I did work on schema therapy which was about understanding the way we view the world because of our childhood experiences, and I also did group therapy which was based on dialectical behaviour therapy. I focussed on understanding why I had been behaving in certain ways and on making changes to be emotionally healthier. I learnt so much in the process and it really has resulted in big improvements in my life and relationships.
I decided to write a book influenced by my experiences and called it ‘Sarah Woods is Unborderline’. In the book I go through each of the concepts I learnt which helped me to create a healthier version of myself. The book contains lots of examples of BPD behaviour, tips for making change, and information to help people understand the disorder. I use the term ‘Unborderline’ because due to the work I have done on myself, I no longer fit the criteria for having BPD and have un-borderlined myself; Sarah does the same in this story.
The book can be found on most online book stores.
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